Is Modesty a Costly Signal?

As you may already know, costly signals are those costly behaviors that people engage in, in order to obtain status. They must be visible for others and, of course costly for the signaler. At the same time they either have to be desired by others or to signal a trait that is desired by others (others = potential friends and allies or potential mates). There are many costly signals ranging from conspicuous consumption to creativity and generosity.
.
Recently I have been thinking if modesty is a particular case of costly signal? I mean modesty as a personal trait, not as an attribute of an object. For example a modest income is certainly not attractive while a modest IQ is for sure not desirable. I refer to modesty as the behavior of people who don’t brag, who don’t take too much credit for what they represent to others (i.e. personalities that don’t abuse their VIP status) or even modesty in the sense of allowing other (lower status) individuals to feel good about themselves – i.e. not patronizing them.
.
If your neighbor is a high status person, but still goes to the supermarket by bike and drives a “normal” car, you will feel relatively better about yourself because he doesn't show how high status he is.
.
Let’s see if modesty meets the criteria for being a costly signal
.
First it is costly for the person exhibiting it. Now the costs of modesty are two-fold: on one hand modesty requires a certain amount of self-control which costs energy; on the other hand, there are opportunity costs for the signaler – he or she forgoes benefits that would have been obtained if modesty would have not been used.
.
Second, is modesty desirable in itself or does it signal a desirable trait? For sure, modesty in itself is not desirable by others… I can’t imagine someone wishing to be more modest or having a modest partner… however the absence of modesty is undesirable… some people don’t want a partner who brags all day long how great he or she is. On the other hand, modesty implies, as previously stated, a lot of self-control, self-confidence and a sense of achievement or self-fulfillment… usually frustrated people are not modest at all, even the opposite is true. Now, self-control, confidence and self-fulfillment are desirable traits for long term mating partners. Thus, modesty meets the criterion of signaling a desirable trait, but only for long term mating.
.
Third, is modesty visible? This is a tricky one. Being modest implies not showing what one has. At the same time, in order to be appreciated, modesty needs to be visible. This leads to the conclusion that there are two types of modesty: A. unobserved modesty which can be defined as not showing high status or deferring high status benefits due to the fact that high status is not exhibited in any way – it is not visible. B. observed modesty which can be defined as not abusing high status and deferring high status benefits done by persons who are known for having high status (i.e. football stars).
.
If a well-known high status person exhibits modesty, it is for sure the second type of modesty – observed, thus visible. Moreover, exhibiting the first type of modesty is virtually impossible because, at least to a certain audience, the high status is known (e.g. Family, friends etc.). This makes even unobserved modesty visible, at least for some people.
.
The conclusion is that at least in theory modesty meets the criteria of being a costly signal for attracting long term partners.