If you have a driver’s
license and drive on public roads for sure you have encountered at least one
situation when someone cut you off. Similarly while shopping in a supermarket
when approaching slowly the cash register at least once it has happened to you that
someone came in a hurry and just went in front of you just as you approached
the cue. If these things have never happened to you (which makes you an
outlier) for sure you were in a situation in which a complete stranger
had done something that has mildly affected you in a negative way. Someone
cutting you off on a street or getting in front of you in line at a supermarket
are annoying things, but not really bad.
Most likely your
reaction towards the person who caused you this discomfort was something like
“this guy is a jerk” or “he’s an idiot”. Your natural reaction is to attribute
the (bad) behavior on the person’s character or, how psychologists like to call
it, personality.
Now let’s make a thought
exercise. Imagine that you are on your lunch break and right after it you have
a very important meeting with your boss (or a client) and it is absolutely
vital that you are on time in the office. At the same time you need to get
something from the supermarket for your sick spouse and you went during the
lunch break to buy it. You have 5 minutes to go through the cash
register cue and get back to your office. You see that the cue is not
long and you are happy that you’ll make it in time. As you approach the
cash register you see a middle aged lady approaching the line with a shopping cart
full of stuff. Naturally you step your pace and get in line just in front of
her. Does this sound plausible? Most likely it does.
Did you do anything
wrong? Of course not! The lady throws you an angry look and says simply “JERK”.
Now you are surprised because (in your mind) you did nothing wrong. You were in
a hurry to get to your very important meeting in time. Plus you know that the
lady would have needed at least 15 minutes to place all her stuff on the
counter, to complain to the cashier that prices have gone up, to search for her
wallet, count the money, count the change twice and so on.
Taking a step back and
looking to both situations – someone getting in front of YOU in the line and
YOU getting in front of the lady with a lot of stuff in her shopping cart, we realize
that they are extremely similar. The only real difference
is the perspective. In the first situation you would call the person who
got in front of you a “jerk” but when you are called a “jerk” you are at least
surprised. Are you really a “jerk”? For sure you don’t consider
yourself a “jerk”…
What is happening is that when
you are the one doing the unpleasant deed, you become aware of other factors
that have influenced your behavior apart from your personality. You
KNOW that you are in a hurry. The lady in front of whom you got in
line DOESN'T KNOW that you are in a hurry.
When judging someone
else’s actions (or behaviors as psychologists like to say) humans
infer that the action is a product of the personality (character) and ONLY of
the personality of the person who does the action.
When judging our own
actions, we become aware of other forces that have influenced our behavior such
as contextual factors. The key learning is that someone’s behavior is the
product of more factors than just personality (or character).
What are the other forces that drive human behavior?
Join Me at the Webinar: See Human Behavior in 4D and Get the Gist of the Drivers of Human Behavior
During the webinar See Human Behavior in 4D by Pikant
& Naumof you
will Learn about the forces that influence human behavior, may it be related to
purchases, work, social life etc.
You will be introduced to the Four Dimensions Model of Human Behavior and you will be acquainted with
examples of how factors other than personality influence human behavior. In
addition you will learn the role of personality in behavior.
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